Confession Time - I'm sick of technology...

There. I said it. Whew, I needed to get that out!

(Yes, yes I do realize the irony that I am confessing this on a blog post. :Þ)

I was up at my BFF's cabin at the beginning of June for almost 2 weeks. Chatting on the phone with Heather and another friend Lisa while driving up there I happily shared with them that I would be able to use my iPhone as a wireless hotspot so I could stay in touch and post while I was away. I had wonderful visions of sitting at the kitchen table (away from the blood sucking F-18's flying out at dusk mosquitoes) watching the sunset while blissfully posting updates about our trip. Cue in some lovely New Agey music and the added visual of three happily sleeping children by 8pm and you'll see where I was at before I got my reality check... ;o)

The Universe however had other plans. Just to get a decent cell signal you basically have to stand at a 72 degree angle in the middle of the road facing due west with your left hand in the air, and your right pinky toe facing south. Don't even get your hopes up for a phone call if it happened to be cloudy or raining either. Yes, to say that cell service was limited and sketchy would be an understatement.  I soon realized setting up a nifty little wifi hotspot with my iPhone wasn't going to be an option. I soon realized that I was *GASP* cutoff. o_O

Did I start jonesing out? To steal a line from our dear and favourite Sarah P. - You betcha!

You don't realize how plugged in you are, until you are, well, forcibly unplugged without warning. After 3 or 4 days of constantly checking my email, the news, or Facebook or Twitter and waiting...and waiting...and............waiting for the pages to load, I gave up. It dawned on me how ridiculous it was that I was surrounded by serenity (family, friendship and more) and I was missing it because I was staring at my stupid phone waiting for the Huffington Post or Facebook and Twitter to load. Once I realized that getting online quickly and easily wasn't an option, I felt sooooooo unbelievably free.

Since then I've had a hard time getting plugged back in. I really like that feeling of being unplugged and all that goes with it. Maybe it is because it's summer and these lazy hot days we've been having are not enticing me to sit in front of my laptop thus I'm just not into it as much and don't really know what to say....or maybe it's because I've realized these last few weeks that while yes, we are 'connected' so to speak when we blog, text, post, update, search and browse - we are also simultaneously disconnected from something and/or someone at the same time, mainly those around us 'in real life' (which is why I've waited until everyone has gone to bed before posting this).

(I'll also confess I am a total and complete weather geek. I won't get into my obsession with clouds, weather, the Environment Canada Website and their continuously updated doppler radar that I can access on said iPhone anytime I like. *blush* Show me a puffy white cloud in the summer time when the ground is hot and there is a moist cool mass of air flowing in overtop and I'll track that puppy all day on doppler radar... I need professional help for that one I think...)

So I apologize if you've texted and I totally sucked at texting you back. I really prefer to talk on the phone in real life! :D Oh and as for phonecalls, well I would call you if my iPhone wasn't going to fill your ears with static or drop the call and cut us off 5 times in the first 12 minutes. Apparently everyone in Metro Calgary is having the same idea about just using their cell phone as their main phone instead of a land line and I'm thinking that our major service providers (you know who you are you monopolizing technological giants with crappy networks with the cutesy commercials and such) just can't keep up with the demand.

Oh and I'll also apologize in advance for my lacking Facebook and Twitter presence over the next couple of months as well. It's summer time and I have so much that I want to do, catch up on and be in the moment for ya know?

If I do happen to have a relapse of my tech addiction, I'll just simply imagine I'm back at the cabin with a cell signal that only works if you are standing at a 72 degree angle in the middle of the road facing due west with your left hand in the air, and your right pinky toe facing south. ;o)

Here's the view from the cabin at sunset (and also middle of the road facing west)...not too shabby eh? :D

I hope you are all having a fabulous summer like I am so far!

With love and light always,

 

Guest Blogger: Being Your Best Self

Are you your best self? If you're anything like me, you have great intentions, but get bogged down in the daily grind - work, kids, extra-curricular activities, planning holidays, yard work, yadda, yadda, yadda...  So how do you set yourself up to be your best self?  You team up.

Today we're teaming up with Lisa from Healthy Way Fitness.  She is chock full of ideas, strategies, inspiration, and encouragement. Laila and I are also very proud to call her a close friend, so she was a natural choice for a guest blogger.  She is a fitness instructor and personal trainer who has actually walked the walk and follows her own advice while teaching by example.  We think she is fabulous and we know you will, too!

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When Heather and Laila asked me to guest blog for Authentic Thursday I was thrilled! And then a little overwhelmed. I just feel like I have so much to say!

As a fitness instructor I get to help people every single day to become the best version of themselves through diet and exercise. I have lost over 90 lbs but most importantly, I have really become the person I was always meant to be. Losing weight and getting healthy can be difficult and often a little discouraging (especially when we don’t see results quickly). But it can be done!

Setting up a fitness and healthy eating plan can seem very daunting at first, but it doesn’t have to be!

You need to do a few things before you get started to make sure you will be successful:

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You need to set realistic goals! Not someone else's goals, but your goals. If they are for weight loss, then set a specific number and create small goals that will help you reach your overall goal.

1. Set up a small area in your house designated specifically for exercise. You should have a yoga mat, one or two sets of dumbbells (3-8lbs is a good range), and a skipping rope. Those are the basic essentials for your new home gym!

I am a big believer in doing things that you like. You may not like to exercise at first but the more you do it the more you will like it. Try different types of exercise like riding your bike, walking or running, or try one of my home workouts that can be done without any equipment at all.

Here are two simple (but challenging!) workouts for you to try at home!

1. Complete 3 rounds of the following as fast as you can, resting when needed:

• 10 squats (stand with feet shoulder width apart, slowly lower down and back as if you are sitting onto a chair and slowly raise back up)
• 10 push ups (start on your hands and feet and go to your knees if you need to)
• 30 seconds of jump rope (with or without a skipping rope)

2. Complete 3 rounds of the following as fast as you can, resting when needed:

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• 30 second plank (in a push up position)
• 10 burpees (start standing, place hands on the floor near your feet, jump your feet back to a push up position, jump your feet back to your hands and jump straight up, repeat)
• 10 alternating front lunges per leg (start standing and step one foot forward bending both knees, so your front knee is at a 90 degree angle and step back to standing.  Repeat with other leg, then alternate and repeat)

We all know how to eat properly, but we are surrounded by easy, fast and usually unhealthy choices. The best thing you can do to see results is to get rid of packaged, processed foods. No more chips, cookies, mac’n’cheese, and sidekicks meals. Go back to basics, including one food from each of the four major food groups in every meal and at least two food groups in each snack. Here is a good example for a typical day of really healthy eating:

Breakfast: 3 egg whites plus 1 whole egg scrambled with ½ cup diced vegetables (peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes), 1 tbsp shredded cheese, 1 slice whole grain toast with 1 tsp margarine, 1 small plum

Morning snack: 1 apple with 1 tbsp natural peanut butter

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Lunch: 1 small grilled chicken breast, 1 cup spinach, 1 cup chopped vegetables (cucumbers, onions, peppers, mushrooms, tomatoes, ect) 1 tbsp vinegarette dressing, 1 cup mixed berries

Afternoon snack: ¼ cup hummus, unlimited celery and carrot sticks

Dinner: 1 small (4 oz) steak (grilled), topped with 1 tbsp bbq sauce, ½ baked potato topped with 1 tsp shredded cheese, 1 tsp sour cream, 1 cup steamed asparagus

Evening snack: ¼ cup raw almonds, ½ orange

These sample workouts and meal plan will help get you on your way to your best self! IF you want more meal ideas or home workouts, check out my website for more healthy living ideas!

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Don't forget to check out Lisa's Facebook Page for more great tips!


 

Our Daughters and the Media

Why as women are we still being quiet with the way we are constantly objectified in the media? Why are we still being quiet at the toys and images that are directed to our children, especially our daughters?

Right now, as women and mothers, (especially blogging mothers) we have some power here girls. Why are we so quiet about this? Seriously, I've seen what a group of women can do and the change we can create. Simply tell a woman in a store that she can't breastfeed there and watch how fast a group of women can spring into action and stand up and say "this is not acceptable", and more times than not actually make that change happen.

I'm tired of being a 'good girl'. You know what I mean right?

Many of us were raised to be "good girls". Good girls that weren't loud. Good girls that weren't too opinionated or too bossy. Good girls who did what they were told. Good girls who always aimed to please and didn't rock the boat. Good girls who always put everyone else but themselves first. Because that is what good girls do apparently.

Then there was "pretty". As little girls, most of us all just loved hearing how pretty we were. Sadly as we grew up, we didn't hear it for the reasons we needed to hear it. You know, 'pretty' for who you are or because of the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed (underneath your rebellious shocking fuchsia pink hair and nose ring).  No, the word 'pretty' usually came out when you were wearing the right clothes, (usually "girly") or 'pretty' because you were wearing the clothes your parents thought you should wear.

My daughter is almost 9 and I look around at the world we live in and the culture she is growing up in and I want to freak out and shield her from it all. The perfectionistic media imagery regarding women is being shoved down our throats, but as grown women we know how (hopefully) to talk ourselves around it. Even Cindy Crawford has said that she wished she looked like "Cindy Crawford".

I see an ad now and I know it is Photoshop'd to oblivion - there is something peaceful in finally realizing that. And what I mean is every ad and magazine cover I see, I don't even believe it so it doesn't get to me anymore. It's tragic that we have even gotten to the point in our society that fake people (men, women and children who are photoshopped beyond recognition) are the only thing that companies feel can sell their product. As adults, we know that and we are so much more aware of it now. But do our daughters?

It's subtle, pervasive and F'ing everywhere. You can't get away from it...

Watch this to see what I mean. To make it even more effective, turn the music off and just watch the images.

It starts with this at 3...

To this at 13...

To this at 23...

(nothing sells clothes like being 1/2 naked with a vacant stare and spread eagle on a bed o_0 )

To this at 33...

(because y'all that is how I looked and felt when I was pregnant and a few weeks away from my due date...not)

How as women are we not supposed to feel objectified? How the hell are we supposed to convince our daughters that all that they see in print and other media is 99% fake and not even close to being attainable, let alone normal or healthy?

We can talk until we are blue in the face to our girls about Photoshopping and advertising and then we have to leave the house with them and go out and see the demeaning ads and marketing everywhere. Billboards on the streets, ads on and around the transit systems, in the stores in the form of toys, clothes, magazine covers and more.

We don't watch much TV at all, because I hate the ads, most of the programming and don't want my children exposed to them. However, at least with TV you can turn it off.

I can't turn off the magazine covers in line at the grocery store. The ones that are at perfect eye level for my daughter. The ones that talk about how to be good in bed - a perfect combination of the submissive vixen. The ones that boast on how to lose 100 pounds by next week, how to make him love you more, how to cook the perfect meal and have the perfect house so your family will adore you.

Because apparently, according to the magazine covers, you aren't good enough as you are. No, you should strive to be a size zero kinky gymnast in the bedroom that knows how to channel her inner Martha Stewart and be the perfect mother all at the same time. Oh and make sure supper is on the table and the house is spotless.

The best thing I can do for my daughter? Aside from loving her for the perfect amazing creature that she is?

I can love who I am - the good, the bad and everything in between. I can admit I'm not perfect and that's okay because I don't want to be perfect.

I can be my own biggest cheerleader and also openly admit my faults and learn from my mistakes.

I can love my body with all it's lumps, bumps and stretchmarks and forever be in awe of it because it grew and nourished 3 amazing little human beings.

And speaking of nourishing little baby humans, my boobs? My boobs were working boobs - they are not for selling beer, pick up trucks and winning wet t-shirt contests.

No, they are better than that.

I can show her it's okay to stand up, be loud and shout "I rocked that one!". I need to assure her it's okay to be bossy sometimes - in men they call it 'strong leadership skills'.

I need to be her constant 'billboard'. For her, I need to be the woman I want her to grow up to be.

Oh and PS American Apparel and Diesel? You suck.



Better and better ♥,

 

Uncluttered Inbox = More Family Time

This past weekend the kids and I crashed Laila's house.  It was so nice to get together and the kids had so much fun.  We spent a lot of time drinking tea and visiting discussing Significantly Simple and where we want to go with it.  We're so grateful to have readers who enjoy what we do.  We've grown so much in such a short time and we couldn't have done it without all of you.  That being said, we spend a lot of time online feeding our blog addictions researching topics so we can put together fabulous posts for our fabulous readers.

With summer coming, Laila finishing up her homeschooling year, and me working while the kids finish school, we're starting to feel a bit frazzled with trying to keep up with everything - kids' activities, work, school, planning our summers, etc, we've decided to streamline our internet usage, including Significantly Simple.  (Stay with me, Laila!!)  We're all about keeping things simple, living authentically, and spending significant (read:  quality) time with our families, so we've decided to slow down our posts for the next little while to really enjoy our kids over summer - give them as much time as they would like without having to worry about anything else, really.  For the next 3 months, family time will dictate our computer usage!  For my family, that will include splash parks, sand dunes, canoeing, camping, and road trips.

My little guy (then 3) sketching the river.

So, in a nutshell, you'll see us posting Meal Planning Mondays, Wordy Wednesdays, and Friday Finds one week and then we'll post to Meal Planning Mondays, Tree Hugging Tuesdays, and Authentic Thursdays the next week.  Not only will we be less taxed, you will have more free time to spend with your own family and friends!

And on that note:

Do you love to subscribe to blogs and other sites? I do! I really, really do! A little too much, actually. I read one great post and all reasoning skill goes out the door by adding another blog subscription to my already too-large list of subscriptions and RSS feeds. At one point, I was subscribing to over 40 different sites.

Although I do love the thought of RSS feeds, I found that I wasn't actually reading them because:


1. I'm an 'all or nothing' kind of girl - if I can't go through all of them at once, I won't bother starting. It would get to the point where I would see the number of unread posts (sometimes 30 per site) and put it off until tomorrow.
2. RSS feeds go to folders at the bottom of my screen. My 'inbox' (and folders I've set up) appear at the top of my screen. By the time I finished with my inbox emails (subscriptions), I couldn't be bothered to go through my RSS feed subscriptions.

So how do you  unclutter your inbox?  Take 5 mintues (I promise you it will take only 5 minutes!) and do the following:

• Go through your list of blogs.  Just by looking at the names, do you know what the site is about? 
• If the answer is yes, keep them.
• If the answer is no, delete them.  Don't think about it.  Just do it.
• Ask yourself a couple of questions:
• Of the remaining sites, which 5 do you like the most?  (That would be four plus ours!) Keep them.
• Of the remaining sites,  which 5 do you like the least?  Delete them.
• Are there sites you generally like, but things about it irk you?  Delete them.  Life is too short to be irked by something that is supposed to give you pleasure.
• For me, the next step was to drag my RSS folders from the bottom of my screen to the top into the inbox folders.
• I then created folders that all new incoming email subscriptions would be filed in upon receipt.

I'm now down to 7 sites that I follow, and I'm so much happier - I have time to give them all a quick read at some point during the day, and I don't feel overwhelmed when my email says I'm receiving 42 messages.  All of my subscriptions go to their own folders, so the only messages that show up in my regular email stream are those from family and friends. And Pioneer Woman.  I can't help it. {insert nervous laugh here}

Aaaanyway, make sure to unclutter your inbox to allow you Significantly Simple time with your family in the weeks and months to come.  :)

Happy Thursday!  :D

 

Home Organization with 31 Days to Clean, FlyLady, and Organization Junkie

Home Organization - sometimes I am so 'on the ball', it's downright scary. Other times, I feel like a hamster spinning on a wheel a little too close to the edge (which is also downright scary).

Every spring and fall I do my usual internet searches for home organization websites, printable calendars, and any other information I can get my sticky fingers on.

My three favorites are (in no particular order):

 

 31 Days to Clean is a fabulous option for Christian homemakers (or non-Christian homemakers!) for the month of May. I know it's the 5th - don't panic! The first week is fairly easy to do, so you can catch up in one day if you have a few hours. Stop rolling your eyes. :P Or simply jump in today. Don't look back - don't worry about what you've missed - jump in with both feet today. Or tomorrow. But no later. :)

If you haven't heard of FlyLady, I welcome you to our planet. :D
She also has a monthly schedule to help get you started. The very first step is to shine your sink and you go from there. She starts small - on the first day, shine your sink. Day 2 - when you wake up, fix your hair and face (make up in not necessary, but give it a wash and moisturize), and then you move on to your home - she covers everything from taking control of the clutter in your purse, car, and home to making a control journal - a binder that contains all of the information you could possibly need - at your fingertips.

And finally, a fellow Albertan: I'm an Organizing Junkie.


I'm an Organizing Junkie has an unbelievable 52 Weeks of Organizing 'assignments' or things to think about that she posts every Friday. Along with this, she hosts a link party so you can post what you've done on your own blog and link it up to her site. I love reading through various posts to see progress others are making. Again, feel free to jump right in!

Do you have a favorite site that help you organize your life? Share it! We'd love to take a peek at it.

 

I had a mama breakdown so I booked a plane ticket...

:D  I'm sitting in the airport right now. By myself. {insert giddy smile here} Woot!

I realized, enough is enough, it's been my year from hell and I deserve a break already, ya know?!

I made sure my angel of a BFF could watch the kidlets on Monday and Tuesday if my hubby was working (I knew my dad could watch them tomorrow) then I went online without telling anyone but my Aunt and my BFF 'T' and booked a plane ticket to Vancouver Island.

For 8 days.

By myself!!!!! :D

Haha!

I get to hang with my awesome wonderful family and just 'be'. Not only that, I am totally excited to be going to some Silva Meditation and Intuition classes. :D

So yes, I'm sitting in the airport right now just enjoying the fact I don't have to keep an eye on anyone or do anything. I'm just hoping my kids are easy on my Dad tomorrow and don't have him running for the hills by lunch... ;o)

I'm just waiting to get on the plane.

By myself.

:D

Oh and I apologize in advance for any weird formatting errors! :P I logged in with my iPad and realized I had to write this in Bloggers HTML tab so I can't actually see what it looks until it's posted. On that note, can anyone recommend a good blogger app? :D

Turn That Frown Upside-Down!

This past weekend was not a highlight that we'll remember fondly into the future. It was more of a complete and utter gong-show. The weather had turned nice enough for the kids to play outside for hours on end, so after school they would zip through their homework and then play outside - they even had dinner outside a couple of times. Until the snow came. Again. *Sigh* Because we've let them stay up later than usual to play outside, they've been a bit stretched in the sleep department. *Sigh*

They were frustrated with the snow and all around crappy weather, so they didn't want to venture out, so they stayed in. And played. And fought. And sang. And played guitar (have I mention that our little guy strums for hours on end - and hasn't had a single lesson??). *Sigh* And fought. And watched DinoSquad. Loudly. And fought. And...well, you get what I mean. So, I had a brainiac moment and took them to the movie. We saw Rio. K watched like a charm.  We both loved the movie. C wanted nothing but to lay on the steps in the theatre - in the dim blue light and assemble his Kindertoy. I let him.

They were fighting before we got back to the car. *Sigh*

When we got home, it was a repeat of the playing, fighting, singing, guitar playing, fighting, DinoSquad, fighting...  And then on Sunday, it happened all over again.  *Bigger sigh*

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I felt like this for 2 days...

Flash Forward to this morning:  C was up at 6 am and ready to roll.  I sent him back to bed - the rule is, the kids stay in their bedrooms until 7.  They can play.  They can watch Netlix on the I-Pod.  They cannot play guitar or sing loudly.  They can sleep (okay, who am I kidding?) - you get the idea.  Thinking I had a load of time (read: 30 minutes), I jumped in the shower and as I was stepping out, I heard the pug-a-lugs scratching at the bathroom door. *Sigh*  The pugs sleep in a crate on the balcony of our bedroom.  Only DH and I let them out in the mornings so we can get them out to do their business outside.   But not this morning.  K with a big heart heard them whining and opened their crate.  But then she couldn't unlock the door to get them outside, so she waited for me to help.

At this point, I made a mental note not to be angry.  We were not going to have a repeat of the last two days.  We were not!  So we rushed the dogs out and all was well. *Sigh of relief*

Until I attempted to put on my bra.  My wet bra.  That was laying on my wet shirt, which was laying on my wet pants.  That smelled like dog pee.  I let out more than a *sigh*  before heading downstairs.

While coming down the stairs, I heard:

C:  Oh no!  Hurry K, she's coming!
K:  Hey Mom, you're fast - didn't you forget to do something upstairs?
C:  Hurry, K!  She'll catch us!  Put it down!
K:  Mom, don't come in yet!
C:  Ya mom, don't come in yet!

I let out yet another *sigh* of frustration wondering what the heck I'll have to clean up before feeding the kids and getting them dressed and getting them in the car and to school on time before I pick up groceries, clean the house, and get a blog post up before picking them up from school, taking them to K's orthodontist appointment, making dinner, doing homework, and getting them to bed on time so they're not grumpy in the morning *inhale! then sigh*

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I head into the kitchen to see the table perfectly set with plates, bowls, cups, cutlery, cereal, fresh strawberries and blackberries, and toast in the toaster.  They saw me and said, 'Surprise Mommy!'

And I let out a final *Sigh*.  Of gratitude and overwhelming love for my family.  Perspective was restored and I am extra-ordinarily grateful for happy, healthy, thoughtful, kind, busy, nutty kids.

I am a very lucky woman.  :)





 

Finding My Way Home (Guest Post)

One of the many wonderful benefits to being a part of the blogging community, is 'meeting' all the fabulous and talented artists out there (writers, crafters, photographers and more!). Even better is when they come and write as a guest on our blog! :D

This week's guest is one of my very, very good friends Darla and also the author of one of my favourite blogs - 'She's a Maineiac' (aka MiracleMama.Wordpress.com).

Darla and I met online almost 9 years ago on a pregnancy due date forum (ePregnancy Sept 2002 DDC for those who are curious!) when we were both pregnant with our first babies.

It's funny how the internet works, that you can have wonderful close friendships with people you have never met in person. Even though we haven't had the chance yet to sit down and chat face to face over coffee, red wine or margaritas (she lives in Maine USA and I live in Alberta Canada, so no matter who goes where, it's a long way for weekly margaritas! :Þ), she is truly one of my very close friends and has been there for me through so much over the last 9 years.

It is my honour to have Darla as our guest writer this week and be able to lay out our welcome mat for her as she visits us over here in our little corner of the web. I love her blog, her posts, her photography and her wonderful insights to life, motherhood and more - and I am sure you will too! You can pop on over and visit her at MiracleMama.Wordpress.com and read her 'Confessions of a Maine Housewife' to see why I am always eagerly awaiting her next post!

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Finding My Way Home

By Darla R.  MiracleMama.Wordpress.com

I am walking down an endlessly dark and empty highway. There is no one else; no cars or people. Everything is dark, dreary and incredibly frightening. I can see in the distance a giant green sign with an arrow pointing to an exit off in the foggy distance. The relentless thudding of my heart pounding fills my ears and a cloud of impending doom weighs heavily on my chest. I have to get to that sign. The sign will tell me where to go. I walk and walk for hundreds of miles. When I finally reach the highway sign, the arrow has morphed into four arrows all pointing in different directions.


Panic seeps into my bones. Which way should I go? Out of sheer fear I start to run down a random exit thinking this must be the way home. Yet, I only find a maze of other highways, all empty and crisscrossing each other. I roam the other roads, hoping to see another sign. I am lonely, desperate and full of fear. I will never get home. I start to cry.


This is a recurring dream I have had since I was a little girl. This nightmare has crept into my mind like a thief, snatched my feelings of security and left me a wide-awake shaken mess over and over again.

For years I would try to analyze it. At first, I came to the obvious conclusion. The highway is my life. I want to find my way in life, but there is no sign telling me what direction I should take. To me, the dream is pure and raw emotion; filled with those soul-crushing fears and insecurities we all share in life.

Recently, I had the dream again. But it had changed. Drastically.

I have always been a very spiritual person. Over the years, I’ve found my peace in nature, meditation and yoga. But with the constant onslaught of marriage, kids, bills, the hectic days seem to blur into years that zip by with lightning speed. There is never enough time anymore for spirituality. I’ve lost that deep peaceful connection with the universe.

I turned 40 last year and with that came the sudden realization that I felt lost in my life. I was filled with anxiety and doubt over what my purpose in life was and wondered if there was time to truly discover it now that I am officially “middle-aged”.

And to my astonishment, I realized I didn’t even know who I was anymore. A wife? A mom? Sure. But, what else? I had to remember that woman again. She was buried in there somewhere. That optimistic, vibrant, happy woman who knew anything was possible.

So I began doing yoga again. I started to sit still and breathe, even if only for a few minutes. I spent much more time outside with my kids, watching them play and smelling the grass and feeling the breeze on my face. I began to just “be” in the moment. I felt a soothing calmness inside of me that hadn’t been there in some time. It felt good. I wanted more of that feeling.

I started to look around and truly see all the blessings that surrounded me. I was healthy, my kids and husband were healthy and full of love. I had so many positive things in my life. My fears and anxieties began to fade. It would be alright. I was going to be just fine.

Last fall, an old high school friend contacted me and we discovered that we both seemed to be walking down the same spiritual path. She suggested I take a Reiki class with her. I knew nothing about it, but was curious, so I attended. During class, we practiced meditation and talked about energy and how our bodies’ systems work and heal. It was amazing to have other people to share our deep personal beliefs and to get that validation that healing mentally, physically and spiritually is possible. I had this overwhelming feeling of security and peace. I felt like I had come home.

Since that first class I’ve practiced Reiki, yoga and meditation more and more. My spiritual side was starting to bloom again. My soul was opening up. I could feel a new sense of ease in my mind and spirit every single day.

I had that same highway dream last month: I walked aimlessly around, desperate, confused and lonely. I still couldn’t find that sign. But then, something changed. A voice told me to look down at my hand. I slowly opened up my clenched hand to see a white envelope. A rush of adrenaline went straight through me. I knew that inside that envelope were the directions I needed to finally get home. There was hope.

I woke up before I could open it.

Maybe my next dream, I will.

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Isn't she a fabulous writer? :D

Again, a HUGE thank you to my very good friend and fellow blogger, Darla for being our guest this week! You can click on over to visit her at MiracleMama.Wordpress.com.

 

Stay tuned tomorrow to find out who the winner is for our giveaway from Rae Of Light Photography! If you haven't had a chance to enter you can simply click here to hop over to last weeks post and find out how, but don't delay becuase the contest closes tonight!

See you all tomorrow!

With love and light ♥,

 

Remember, It's the Simple Things That are Significant....

This is a lovely quote that simply reminded me of the important things in life... ♥

"At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict, or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent."

-- Barbara Bush

It is so perfectly true isn't it?

Just a little something for this Wordy Wednesday to remind you of what is important and to hopefully nudge you to slow down a bit, enjoy your life to the fullest and to remember what it was like when you were little. Remember way back when, when you were still in awe of the simple things in life, like the flowers blooming in spring, the way the wind blew through your hair when you were racing around the neighbourhood on your bike, how fascinating the ants were as they busily bustled down the sidewalk, the way the clouds floated by in the sky? Don't ever stop being in awe and don't ever forget it is the simple things in life that are significant.

I hope you are all having a wonderful week!

With love and light ♥,

What (Not) To Say Series, Part 3: Adoptive Families

This is our third and final post in our What (Not) To Say Series.  It is written by a guest contributor, "Nicky", who writes about her family at  Rowan Family Tree.  She and her husband created their family through international adoption and we are so glad that she has come on board for the final chapter in this series.

Photo Credit:  "Nicky" of Rowan Family Tree

Life is always exciting when you have two girls, two dogs, two cats and a dozen fish! Rowan Family Tree is a popular Ethiopian Canadian adoption blog chronicling the adventures of the Rowan family: mama “Nicky”, ababa “Jrock”, and twin daughters “Sugar and Spice”. Follow the love and the laughs at Rowan Family Tree.

The Mall Obstacle Course: What To Say to an Adoptive Family

The girls were getting cranky. I had been hauling them around the mall for an hour, picking up specialty shampoos for their tight dark curls and scouring sale bins for the size four clothes they would wear next season. My daughters, almost 4 year old twins, had reached their limit and were starting to drag their feet. So I sighed, bought them a cinnamon bun and sat down with them in the middle of the mall for a sanity break.

Next to us, there was a young couple in their twenties. They saw us and grinned. I passed a weary smile back at them. They started to whisper to each other in those loud secretive undertone that people do in public places where they think they can’t be heard. I knew what was coming: we had already been asked by at least 15 batches of strangers through the mall “are they twins?” At least 10 of them followed up with “They are so beautiful!” My Ethiopian-born daughters are lovely, and as a trans-racial family we constantly attract people’s curiosity. You can imagine how it slows a family with young children down, though, being forced to interact with strangers literally every three minutes. The kids get very tired of the attention too.

“Are they adopted?” a lady suddenly yelled across the 4 feet of space separating us.

My feeler went up, and I dryly stated back, “hello.”

She ignored the overt politeness correction.

“Uh... are they adopted?”

Now just imagine what it’s like to be in my daughter’s shoes here. Being looked up and down and being talked about as if they aren’t there.

“These are my daughters. My husband and I adopted them,” I commented, trying to look proud and not irritated.

More whispering. Then suddenly, “are their parents dead?”

Again, put yourself into my children’s shoes. Can you imagine complete strangers prying into your personal life in the food court, and prodding at your life’s biggest losses? I knew these folks had no social skills whatsoever, so I tried damage control, meanwhile willing the girls to chew their cinnamon buns more quickly.

“We don’t share our family’s personal history with strangers, I’m sorry.” I stated firmly.

“Oh.” The lady looked crestfallen. “We were just thinking of adopting and I’m interested.” Oh – I thought to myself. Maybe I had underestimated her intentions and she just had a deplorable sense of conversational appropriateness. But then she said “well, I mean, we haven’t started to try to have kids yet, but if we couldn’t have kids of our own, then maybe I’d think about it.”

Ok. That was it. I told the girls they could finish their cinnamon buns in the car, bundled them up, and struck out for freedom. We were only a few feet away from the food court when my daughter said to me in hushed tone, “Mommy, I don’t like people ask me many questions. Makes me sad.”

I tamped down my own heartbreak and knelt down in front of her. “Sweetheart, people are interested because you are twins. Twins are very special. They are also interested because you are very beautiful and I am very beautiful too.” She giggled. “We don’t have to answer all their questions, though. This is our privacy. Just like bodies. We don’t have to share our stories with everyone. We need to be polite, but we don’t need to answer their questions, do you understand?” she nodded, and we continued out the doors.

After that encounter, I shook my head to myself. I should have know better than to linger in the mall, where we run into stranger after stranger. In our own neighbourhood, we are relatively free to go about our business. The clerks in the pharmacy and the baristas in the coffee shop know us as a family and have long passed the point of asking questions. We’re simply seen as a part of the neighbourhood fabric.

But an adoptive family can’t hide out. In fact, what kind of message does it send to our children if we aren’t proud and confident in our family’s existence? So we try to answer all the questions with grace, answering for our children’s ears. And define boundaries when others step way beyond the bounds of privacy and politeness.

If you aren’t an adoptive parent, you probably are a little surprised by the scrutiny and challenges we face. Here are some ideas about ways to interact with adoptive families you meet at your mall (or other places, like the parking lot at elementary school.)

Great things to do:

• Smile. Show that you think the kids are cute or you appreciate our family by smiling. This also allows us to get on with our shopping without having to interact with people every three seconds, and we still get your message.

• Say nice things that affirm our relationship, like “your children are so beautiful.” Who objects to that? Just please don’t expect us to carry on a prolonged conversation when our toddler is tugging at our leg and we need to get on our way. Just keeping it at the one sentence is great.

• If you are interested in adoption as an option for building your family, say so. Right off the bat. Right after hi. Then we will know where you are coming from. An adoptive family is not by default a social service, so don’t expect us to answer your questions. But most parents I know are happy to point you to an agency or an adoptive families group for more information.

• Don’t take it personally if we don’t want to have a prolonged chat. The shear volume of inquiries means that we don’t necessarily want to talk about your sister’s friend’s uncle who adopted a kid from “I can’t remember where.” We are the parents of young children... we have no time.

Horrible things - do not do these:

• Use language that undermines our child’s position in our family. Many adoptive children go through phases of wondering how they fit in or if they belong. They don’t need to hear this from strangers too! Avoid language that questions our relationships, like asking if they are our own children or if we are their real parents. Of course we are real and they are our own. That’s why they are screaming “Daddy! I want a candy!!!” at the top of their lungs.

• Ask how much our children cost. Let me tell you why this is so offensive. Child-trafficking is the opposite of adoption – children are bought and sold as commodities. It’s reprehensible. Adoptive parents usually have to scrimp and save to pay for the travel to pick up their children and to pay for lawyers. But they in no way paid for the kids. To assume that, is aligning parents with an illegal and abhorrent practice. Pretty offensive. Plus think of the poisonous thoughts that plant in listening children’s heads.

• Prod into our children’s personal history: can you imagine a stranger asking you about your most traumatic times while in the grocery store line? Don’t ask about their previous life traumas, such as biological family, if they were abused or starved, or if they suffer FASD or AIDS or some other disease. Uncool. Rude. Across the line.

• Make assumptions about our children, their past or their abilities based on their colour or background. Even positive assumptions can be hurtful, such as assuming that an Asian child is supposed to be good at math. This is also known as racism.

The cinnamon incident actually happened close to a year ago. Now that the girls are older and have seemingly lost that puppy pheromone that attracts little old ladies and grandpa-types, the mall-stopping ratio has fallen to about five stops in an hour. Shopping is much easier.

*****

"Nicky" is a proud supporter of Vulnerable Children Society.  This fantastic Canadian non-profit takes care of impoverished children in Ethiopia, whose lives have been affected by HIV/AIDS.  To sponsor a child or learn more, please visit http://vulnerablechildren.ca/.

Thank you, Nicky, for sharing such valuable information about addressing adoptive families!

*****

Photo Credit:  Robyn of Dim Sum and Doughnuts

You should also check out another adoption blog. Robyn over at Dim Sum and Doughnuts wrote a very funny piece, based on a collaborative effort of other adoptive parents, about what not to say to adoptive families.  Her post, We Don't Care If You Stare, can be found here.  Read it.  It's good.  :)

Read Part 1: Pregnancy & Family Types
Read Part 2:  Families with Unique Children

And that ends our What (Not) To Say Series.  If there is a topic that you would like to see addressed, please leave a comment or email us.

Now go forth and be confident in speaking positively with families who appear different than your own.

How to Create a Family Mission Statement

What is a Family Mission Statement, you ask?  It's a statement outlining the objectives and purpose of your family.  It details your family's values and goals.  It's about keeping your family on track and accountable to one another to create your best life, as well acting as a guideline in making family decisions.

Photo Credit So how do you go about creating a Family Mission Statement? 

Start with discussing a Family Mission Statement with your partner (we'll bring the kids in a bit later).  Discuss what categories you would like to address, such as career, creative outlets, education, marriage, faith or spirituality, etc. 

Your family's mission statement does not have to be elaborate - it simply needs to be significant.

Photo Credit
Find a quiet space where each of you can be alone with your thoughts and jot down what is important to you in each of the categories.

Come back together to discuss your notes.  This may be a very eye-opening experience for you, as you may find that you have different priorities.  Be patient and respectful with your spouse while you compromise as you come up with a master list of priorities.

Next, bring your kids in.  Explain to them what a family mission statement is, and ask for their input.  This is a perfect opportunity for them to feel like they have something to contribute, rather than mom and dad having all the say.  Take them seriously and jot down their thoughts under each topic.  Although mom and dad lay the foundation for the mission statement, it is definately a family effort.  Ask the kids some probing questions such as:

• what kind of family they would like you to be?
• What values does your family hold sacred?
• What goals do you have in mind?
• What is the feeling you get when you walk into your home?
• What kinds of things do you like to do together?

Once all the information has been gathered, type up a good copy and post it in a prominent area of your home.  You will want it in an area where each of you will see it every single day.  It won't always be read, but as long as it is seen, it will be in your thoughts and you will use it to guide your actions.

There are many different ways of displaying your family's mission statement - it can be done in bullet point form and pinned to a bulletin board, it can be stuck with a magnet to your fridge.  You could laminate it or matte and frame it.  Keep in mind that it should be presented with dignity and placed with honor to your family, after all, it is what your family is all about.

If you have a Family Mission Statement and would like to share it with us, leave a link in the comments section below.