Sheryl Sandberg at TED Talks - Wise Words For Our Girls....

I saw this 'talk' on TED Talks by Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook and I had to bookmark it immediately. Not just because I wanted to watch it again at a later date, but more than anything, because I wanted to save it and show it to my daughter when she is a little bit older.

What Sheryl has to say is authentic, profound and true in more ways than one.

Enjoy! ♥

Sheryl Sandberg: Why we have too few women leaders



I hope you are having a fabulous week so far! :D

Better and better,

Our Daughters and the Media

Why as women are we still being quiet with the way we are constantly objectified in the media? Why are we still being quiet at the toys and images that are directed to our children, especially our daughters?

Right now, as women and mothers, (especially blogging mothers) we have some power here girls. Why are we so quiet about this? Seriously, I've seen what a group of women can do and the change we can create. Simply tell a woman in a store that she can't breastfeed there and watch how fast a group of women can spring into action and stand up and say "this is not acceptable", and more times than not actually make that change happen.

I'm tired of being a 'good girl'. You know what I mean right?

Many of us were raised to be "good girls". Good girls that weren't loud. Good girls that weren't too opinionated or too bossy. Good girls who did what they were told. Good girls who always aimed to please and didn't rock the boat. Good girls who always put everyone else but themselves first. Because that is what good girls do apparently.

Then there was "pretty". As little girls, most of us all just loved hearing how pretty we were. Sadly as we grew up, we didn't hear it for the reasons we needed to hear it. You know, 'pretty' for who you are or because of the way your eyes sparkled when you laughed (underneath your rebellious shocking fuchsia pink hair and nose ring).  No, the word 'pretty' usually came out when you were wearing the right clothes, (usually "girly") or 'pretty' because you were wearing the clothes your parents thought you should wear.

My daughter is almost 9 and I look around at the world we live in and the culture she is growing up in and I want to freak out and shield her from it all. The perfectionistic media imagery regarding women is being shoved down our throats, but as grown women we know how (hopefully) to talk ourselves around it. Even Cindy Crawford has said that she wished she looked like "Cindy Crawford".

I see an ad now and I know it is Photoshop'd to oblivion - there is something peaceful in finally realizing that. And what I mean is every ad and magazine cover I see, I don't even believe it so it doesn't get to me anymore. It's tragic that we have even gotten to the point in our society that fake people (men, women and children who are photoshopped beyond recognition) are the only thing that companies feel can sell their product. As adults, we know that and we are so much more aware of it now. But do our daughters?

It's subtle, pervasive and F'ing everywhere. You can't get away from it...

Watch this to see what I mean. To make it even more effective, turn the music off and just watch the images.

It starts with this at 3...

To this at 13...

To this at 23...

(nothing sells clothes like being 1/2 naked with a vacant stare and spread eagle on a bed o_0 )

To this at 33...

(because y'all that is how I looked and felt when I was pregnant and a few weeks away from my due date...not)

How as women are we not supposed to feel objectified? How the hell are we supposed to convince our daughters that all that they see in print and other media is 99% fake and not even close to being attainable, let alone normal or healthy?

We can talk until we are blue in the face to our girls about Photoshopping and advertising and then we have to leave the house with them and go out and see the demeaning ads and marketing everywhere. Billboards on the streets, ads on and around the transit systems, in the stores in the form of toys, clothes, magazine covers and more.

We don't watch much TV at all, because I hate the ads, most of the programming and don't want my children exposed to them. However, at least with TV you can turn it off.

I can't turn off the magazine covers in line at the grocery store. The ones that are at perfect eye level for my daughter. The ones that talk about how to be good in bed - a perfect combination of the submissive vixen. The ones that boast on how to lose 100 pounds by next week, how to make him love you more, how to cook the perfect meal and have the perfect house so your family will adore you.

Because apparently, according to the magazine covers, you aren't good enough as you are. No, you should strive to be a size zero kinky gymnast in the bedroom that knows how to channel her inner Martha Stewart and be the perfect mother all at the same time. Oh and make sure supper is on the table and the house is spotless.

The best thing I can do for my daughter? Aside from loving her for the perfect amazing creature that she is?

I can love who I am - the good, the bad and everything in between. I can admit I'm not perfect and that's okay because I don't want to be perfect.

I can be my own biggest cheerleader and also openly admit my faults and learn from my mistakes.

I can love my body with all it's lumps, bumps and stretchmarks and forever be in awe of it because it grew and nourished 3 amazing little human beings.

And speaking of nourishing little baby humans, my boobs? My boobs were working boobs - they are not for selling beer, pick up trucks and winning wet t-shirt contests.

No, they are better than that.

I can show her it's okay to stand up, be loud and shout "I rocked that one!". I need to assure her it's okay to be bossy sometimes - in men they call it 'strong leadership skills'.

I need to be her constant 'billboard'. For her, I need to be the woman I want her to grow up to be.

Oh and PS American Apparel and Diesel? You suck.



Better and better ♥,

 

Strong Words for Strong Girls...

Photo Courtesy of Samchio

It's International Women's Week and I thought I would keep this post light and fun while also throwing out a few words that I would love see define my daughter at any point in her life!

In this age of constant steaming media, girls and (grown women alike) are often maligned, oversexualized and dumbed down all in the name of marketing and money.

So, this is my way of pushing back and sharing some words that describe my daughter and so many other fabulous, smart, successful and wonderful gals I know!

Strong

Inspiring

Generous

Nurturing

Independent

Fierce

Intuitive

Courageous

Audacious

Natural

Tenacious

Leaders

Youthful

Spirited

Innovative

Magnanimous

Powerful

Loving

Equal

I hope you are all having a great week so far! :o)

With love and light ♥,