One of the many wonderful benefits to being a part of the blogging community, is 'meeting' all the fabulous and talented artists out there (writers, crafters, photographers and more!). Even better is when they come and write as a guest on our blog! :D
This week's guest is one of my very, very good friends Darla and also the author of one of my favourite blogs - 'She's a Maineiac' (aka MiracleMama.Wordpress.com).
Darla and I met online almost 9 years ago on a pregnancy due date forum (ePregnancy Sept 2002 DDC for those who are curious!) when we were both pregnant with our first babies.
It's funny how the internet works, that you can have wonderful close friendships with people you have never met in person. Even though we haven't had the chance yet to sit down and chat face to face over coffee, red wine or margaritas (she lives in Maine USA and I live in Alberta Canada, so no matter who goes where, it's a long way for weekly margaritas! :Þ), she is truly one of my very close friends and has been there for me through so much over the last 9 years.
It is my honour to have Darla as our guest writer this week and be able to lay out our welcome mat for her as she visits us over here in our little corner of the web. I love her blog, her posts, her photography and her wonderful insights to life, motherhood and more - and I am sure you will too! You can pop on over and visit her at MiracleMama.Wordpress.com and read her 'Confessions of a Maine Housewife' to see why I am always eagerly awaiting her next post! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Finding My Way Home
By Darla R. MiracleMama.Wordpress.com
I am walking down an endlessly dark and empty highway. There is no one else; no cars or people. Everything is dark, dreary and incredibly frightening. I can see in the distance a giant green sign with an arrow pointing to an exit off in the foggy distance. The relentless thudding of my heart pounding fills my ears and a cloud of impending doom weighs heavily on my chest. I have to get to that sign. The sign will tell me where to go. I walk and walk for hundreds of miles. When I finally reach the highway sign, the arrow has morphed into four arrows all pointing in different directions.
Panic seeps into my bones. Which way should I go? Out of sheer fear I start to run down a random exit thinking this must be the way home. Yet, I only find a maze of other highways, all empty and crisscrossing each other. I roam the other roads, hoping to see another sign. I am lonely, desperate and full of fear. I will never get home. I start to cry.
This is a recurring dream I have had since I was a little girl. This nightmare has crept into my mind like a thief, snatched my feelings of security and left me a wide-awake shaken mess over and over again.
For years I would try to analyze it. At first, I came to the obvious conclusion. The highway is my life. I want to find my way in life, but there is no sign telling me what direction I should take. To me, the dream is pure and raw emotion; filled with those soul-crushing fears and insecurities we all share in life.
Recently, I had the dream again. But it had changed. Drastically.
With love and light ♥,
I have always been a very spiritual person. Over the years, I’ve found my peace in nature, meditation and yoga. But with the constant onslaught of marriage, kids, bills, the hectic days seem to blur into years that zip by with lightning speed. There is never enough time anymore for spirituality. I’ve lost that deep peaceful connection with the universe.
I turned 40 last year and with that came the sudden realization that I felt lost in my life. I was filled with anxiety and doubt over what my purpose in life was and wondered if there was time to truly discover it now that I am officially “middle-aged”.
And to my astonishment, I realized I didn’t even know who I was anymore. A wife? A mom? Sure. But, what else? I had to remember that woman again. She was buried in there somewhere. That optimistic, vibrant, happy woman who knew anything was possible.
So I began doing yoga again. I started to sit still and breathe, even if only for a few minutes. I spent much more time outside with my kids, watching them play and smelling the grass and feeling the breeze on my face. I began to just “be” in the moment. I felt a soothing calmness inside of me that hadn’t been there in some time. It felt good. I wanted more of that feeling.
I started to look around and truly see all the blessings that surrounded me. I was healthy, my kids and husband were healthy and full of love. I had so many positive things in my life. My fears and anxieties began to fade. It would be alright. I was going to be just fine.
Last fall, an old high school friend contacted me and we discovered that we both seemed to be walking down the same spiritual path. She suggested I take a Reiki class with her. I knew nothing about it, but was curious, so I attended. During class, we practiced meditation and talked about energy and how our bodies’ systems work and heal. It was amazing to have other people to share our deep personal beliefs and to get that validation that healing mentally, physically and spiritually is possible. I had this overwhelming feeling of security and peace. I felt like I had come home.
Since that first class I’ve practiced Reiki, yoga and meditation more and more. My spiritual side was starting to bloom again. My soul was opening up. I could feel a new sense of ease in my mind and spirit every single day.
I had that same highway dream last month: I walked aimlessly around, desperate, confused and lonely. I still couldn’t find that sign. But then, something changed. A voice told me to look down at my hand. I slowly opened up my clenched hand to see a white envelope. A rush of adrenaline went straight through me. I knew that inside that envelope were the directions I needed to finally get home. There was hope.
I woke up before I could open it.
Maybe my next dream, I will.
I turned 40 last year and with that came the sudden realization that I felt lost in my life. I was filled with anxiety and doubt over what my purpose in life was and wondered if there was time to truly discover it now that I am officially “middle-aged”.
And to my astonishment, I realized I didn’t even know who I was anymore. A wife? A mom? Sure. But, what else? I had to remember that woman again. She was buried in there somewhere. That optimistic, vibrant, happy woman who knew anything was possible.
So I began doing yoga again. I started to sit still and breathe, even if only for a few minutes. I spent much more time outside with my kids, watching them play and smelling the grass and feeling the breeze on my face. I began to just “be” in the moment. I felt a soothing calmness inside of me that hadn’t been there in some time. It felt good. I wanted more of that feeling.
I started to look around and truly see all the blessings that surrounded me. I was healthy, my kids and husband were healthy and full of love. I had so many positive things in my life. My fears and anxieties began to fade. It would be alright. I was going to be just fine.
Last fall, an old high school friend contacted me and we discovered that we both seemed to be walking down the same spiritual path. She suggested I take a Reiki class with her. I knew nothing about it, but was curious, so I attended. During class, we practiced meditation and talked about energy and how our bodies’ systems work and heal. It was amazing to have other people to share our deep personal beliefs and to get that validation that healing mentally, physically and spiritually is possible. I had this overwhelming feeling of security and peace. I felt like I had come home.
Since that first class I’ve practiced Reiki, yoga and meditation more and more. My spiritual side was starting to bloom again. My soul was opening up. I could feel a new sense of ease in my mind and spirit every single day.
I had that same highway dream last month: I walked aimlessly around, desperate, confused and lonely. I still couldn’t find that sign. But then, something changed. A voice told me to look down at my hand. I slowly opened up my clenched hand to see a white envelope. A rush of adrenaline went straight through me. I knew that inside that envelope were the directions I needed to finally get home. There was hope.
I woke up before I could open it.
Maybe my next dream, I will.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Isn't she a fabulous writer? :D
Again, a HUGE thank you to my very good friend and fellow blogger, Darla for being our guest this week! You can click on over to visit her at MiracleMama.Wordpress.com.
Stay tuned tomorrow to find out who the winner is for our giveaway from Rae Of Light Photography! If you haven't had a chance to enter you can simply click here to hop over to last weeks post and find out how, but don't delay becuase the contest closes tonight!
See you all tomorrow!
With love and light ♥,
Fantastic! I just read this morning that when you are meditating, ask specific questions if you want to receive answers. Welcome back to your true self.
ReplyDeleteShe is a great writer. i love her blog too!
ReplyDeleteShe is a good writer!
ReplyDeleteDarla is an amazing writer...what wisdom in that post. The world would be such a better place if we all took those few moments to feel ourselves again, to appreciate the simple things and to just be.
ReplyDeleteGreat post about longing and meaning.
ReplyDeleteAn updated dream reflecting one's new direction and sense of hope. Wonderful.
ReplyDeleteI've had similar dreams all my life, too. And they've also changed (and lessened) since I moved out of an urban environment into a rural one. It's changed me. We keep changing. Maybe you don't actually need to open the envelope? Maybe it's just enough to know that a peaceful more fulfilled life is there?
ReplyDeleteSusan, I've haven't tried asking questions before meditating just yet. I will have to try that! When I meditate, I am still trying to battle with the thoughts in my head. Some days I have a clear peaceful meditation, other days it feels very frustrating. But I'm trying to forgive myself and that's the most important thing, I think.
ReplyDeleteVal, I feel a big change is coming. I can't quite put my finger on it. And I think you may be right, I may never actually open that envelope in this lifetime and that may be okay. It's enough to just know it's there waiting for me.
Thanks guys for your comments and thoughts!
Darla's blog is one of my favorites. Every post is different, but each is filled with humor, sensitivity, and great insight. All that and a Maineiac, too!
ReplyDeleteI'm also glad I found this guest post. I've been thinking for weeks about joining a yoga class, and reading this was a push in the right direction. Thank you, Darla, Laila, and Heather.
It's great that your latest dream is more hopeful, Darla, and your timing couldn't be better. Four days ago, I had one of my recurring nightmares from childhood, but this time it was much darker and scarier and has been hanging over my head like an ominous cloud. But after reading this, I am able to reflect more clearly on the dream and realize that even though the circumstances of the recent nightmare were worse than my childhood dream, I was more powerful in this one and able to rescue myself and my loved ones this time around. Thanks for clearing the cobwebs from my brain and helping me figure this one out!
ReplyDeleteAs always, love your writing and your blog!
The Outlaw Mom