Wordy Wednesday on a Thursday...

It's been that kind of week, where I am a day behind everything! How is your week going? How was your Hanukkah/Solstice/Christmas/Kwanzzaa this year?

I've been sitting here in front of my laptop since Tuesday feeling all sorts of pressure to come up with something witty and inspiring for our last Wordy Wednesday of the year. It's Wordy Wednesday and I am at a loss for words.

Ironic really, isn't it?

I can't say that this post will necessarily be inspiring or witty but I'll open up and share with you one of my struggles this past fall if you are willing to listen, and I'll also share with you the one special word I am reminding myself of on daily basis. :o)

One of the things I have grappled with the last few months is our homeschooling journey. Since September our life has been a gong show and 'school' has been put on the back burner. It's not to say that learning isn't happening (because as far as I am concerned humans, especially children, are learning and growing all the time) but for this first year we have aligned with a few subjects so we are responsible to have something to show to our school board by next week. Think workbooks and the like.

We made it through Christmas, the first Chrismtas without my brother and my mom and I feel that I have turned a corner in my grieving process, which is good (that corner sooooo needed to be turned but I also was aware enough that I couldn't force it, I just had to go with it...). We are settled into our new house and I finally am getting a grip on my 'new normal' and coming out of that fog that can have one so entrenched after major life changes such as we have been through.

All of a sudden the fogginess lifted this week from my aura and psyche and I 'woke up' to look around at my life and saw that my house is chaos, my kids are chaos, which means that me and my hubby feel like we are in chaos and I especially feel like I am running to catch a fast moving train so I can get all caught up on everthing in my life, as of like, yesterday. I'm an Aries, when I decide things need to be done, I decide they need to be done, as of like...well... yesterday. :Þ

The one thing I need to get a grip on is how I am helping my children learn. I don't want to use the word 'teach' because I don't want to teach them per se, I want to help them grow and learn. I want to be a facilitator in their learning process. As a mother I am naturally a teacher yes and that comes with the job description of parenthood.

However, I realize that I never 'taught' my children to walk. I walk, my husband walks, all the people around them that are bigger and older etc walk, so naturally they learn to walk. No one has to teach them. They just learn. On their own. When they show interest yes we help them, but no one is sitting their child down and introducing official lessons on how to walk. The same goes for talking. We don't teach our children to talk, we help them with sounds and words as that part of them is developing, but the learning is their own process and of their own volition.

It is an inate natural human desire that is rooted deep within us to learn. To grow. To explore. To create. To discover.

This week when I saw the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel and then actually got through that foggy tunnel that grief can envelope you in, I remembered one of my homeschooling mantra's that I told myself as I started this journey:

Trust your children.

And I mean really truly trust them when it comes to what and especially how they learn.

Trust that they want to explore. Trust that they want to grow. Trust that they want to create. Trust that they want to discover.

And just as importantly:

Trust that you can trust yourself to trust your children and help them grow in any direction they want to go in.

The key word is TRUST.

It seems so simple really, but it is so much easier said than done.

There is a secret I have found to helping them do that, but for now I am going to let you all chew on that for a bit. I'll post my little secret to the trusting process this weekend for our Friday Finds, which following the trend for the past few days will be a day or so late, because well it's just been that kind of a week. :D We'll get back to our regular schedule next week. ;o)

Have a wonderful New Year's Eve!

With love and light, ♥

The lesson of the day is...

Photo Credit



We are officially starting homeschooling next week as a family. Matthew has theoretically been homeschooled since January in a very child led, unschooling sort of way after I decided kindergarten just wasn't working for him, but next week Maria starts with us and I am so excited! There is all this manic energy around town right now as everyone frantically wraps up their holidays and dashes around to get school supplies. The kids and I? We're just chillin' and planning for our vacation in September!

Matty had a really hard time in Kindergarten last year. And in hindsight, I think his teacher had a really hard time figuring out the best way to help him learn.

What never came across the school's mind though I'm sure, is maybe this child just doesn't fit in to school...maybe what we know and believe to be true (that school is the only avenue for academic learning and academic growth) is *not* true after all? Maybe some kids just do better learning at home in a more flexible environment.

After all we don't expect adults to do the exact same thing as an occupation. Imagine if you took a mechanic and forced that person to sit in an office all day, in say a HR position, dealing with paperwork and people problems for 40+ hours a week. Can you imagine how cranky that person would probably be after awhile? Or say force an elementary teacher to be a neurosurgeon. If they would just "apply themselves" and "focus better", I'm sure they could do it. ;o)

The whole concept of this cookie cutter style of education is bizarre to me. Some kids do great in school and there are amazing teachers out there who add so much value to a child's learning, I know a few personally myself. At the same time though, there are a lot of little "mechanics" out there who climb the walls at the notion of being stuck in one place all day long, 5 days a week and not able to move and learn as they need to. My son was one of them. I am one of them and I could strongly relate to how he was feeling last year.

So on January 11, 2010 I pulled Matty out of school and it was truly the best parenting decision I have made in a long, long time. In the meantime, I felt totally drained by the experience and the fact that the school administration didn't quite see things my way. It took me a few months to process the whole ordeal and come to terms with it since it wasn't an amicable separation on the part of the school and I.

The 6 year old little girl in me who was always raised to do as you are told and listen to authority still had to process that feeling that the "Teacher, the Principal and Vice Principal" weren't happy with me and *GASP* maybe they were even mad at me! It's funny really, that even as a confidant 35 year old woman, wife and mother to 3 that just those labels on those 3 people (Teacher, Principal and Vice Principal) could make me feel, even for a fleeting moment, inferior and make me doubt for a second how well I knew my child and what was best for him. But it was very short lived, then the typical headstrong Aries side of me came out and on we went merrily on our way... ;o)

That rollercoaster experience with Matthew and school certainly taught me a few things:

A ) Listen to your instincts/intuition!

If I had done that, I wouldn't have had to drag Matty through the wringer all fall last year because the school thought there was something wrong with him. There is nothing wrong with him, other than, well, he doesn't fit the neat and tidy mold of what is expected in public school. I only had to go through Behaviour Support Specialists, Social Workers, the Pediatrician and a Child Psychiatrist before I was told what I already knew. I KNEW in September it wasn't going to work. I couldn't say how I knew, I just *knew* ya know?

When the child psychiatrist told me after seeing Matthew and evaluating him and going over every little facet of his personality, that Matthew was fine and that his issues at school were due to stress, something in me as a mother just kinda...umm...snapped. Especially when it seems they were trying to flag him for Autism when he clearly, is not Autistic. Not even close. Quirky, stubborn and a little high strung yes, but not Autistic. Because of all this nonsense, it took a long time for me to convince Matthew there wasn't anything wrong with him. He thought he was broken and kept asking if he needed "fixing". Ugh.

B ) If you are a non conformist and you try to conform, especially to a mainstream traditional model of education in a smallish community, chances are it isn't going to work so well. And chances are too, you'll end up looking like a bit of a kook when you finally come unglued and stop conforming, but that is okay.

I have always wanted to homeschool. When we lived in Calgary I had planned on it, but when we moved to a smaller community in 2007 it intimidated me really. I was used to having soooooooooo many different resources and ideas at my fingertips to do with my kids (the Science Centre, Zoo, etc etc) that this town doesn't have. But, I realize now that I can do very well without having large edu-tainment facilities like that, and really, they are only a few hours away so we'll be there a lot in the spring, summer, fall I'm sure anyway.

I don't vaccinate, I had a planned unassisted homebirth, we happily co-sleep and my youngest is 3 years old and still nurses. A lot. I don't ever do what is expected, I do what I feel is best for each individual child combined with the needs of the family. Why would the way I choose to educate my children be any different?