What is Your Favourite Parenting Book?

There has been a lot of bruhaha lately over a certain parenting book declaring that a certain type of mother is superior. I'm not even going to name the book because I have come to realize that the specific excerpt from said book is being printed and put out there for a reason - that is simply to create a whole lotta controversy and thus sell more books. Mission accomplished I'd say. Nothing like making everyone else feel inferior in the name of the almighty dollar. But, I digress.

The whole sh*t storm over this particular book though has gotten me to reflect on all the parenting books I have read in the last 8 years. And oh.my.goodness there have been A LOT. I mean, A LOT.

I strive in my efforts to be and stay connected with my children. I practice an attachment style of parenting because I believe in it. I endeavor to discipline in the gentlest but firmest ways possible (even though some days I fail quite miserably because it doesn't come naturally to me). I care deeply about my childrens self esteem and I'm convinced that raising my children with a strong character, good morals and values combined with a powerful dose of self confidence, is creating human beings who can accomplish anything they put their mind to when they go out into the world.

There have been a lot of books that have helped me on this journey, but a few in particular. One of them specifically is "Connection Parenting: Parenting Through Connection instead of Coercion, Through Love Instead of Fear" by Pam Leo. This book is short, easy to read and as far as I am concerned should be given out to every new parent within the first week that they become one.

When I am feeling lost and having one of those rare days where I am trying to remember why I even freakin' wanted to be a mother to begin with (and we all have them), this book brings me back to my heart. This book reminds me to get over myself and to just remember that it is all about the love and connection with my children. It doesn't mean that I am permissive (not all). It just reminds me that these little people are human beings as well, who deserve to be shown around this big world that is new and fun and fascinating to them, in the most loving and respectful way possible. Wouldn't you agree?

Now, when you are in the midst of taming a massive tantrum and constantly battling siblings who can't seem to get along (as my week has been going so far :Þ) and you're wondering how in the heck you are going to show them this 'big world that is new and fun and fascinating in the most loving and respectful way possible' (feel free to add the sarcasm if you need to there, I get it! ;o) ), then you need to read another favourite of mine by Judy Arnall. Judy wrote the book "Discipline Without Distress: 135 tools for raising caring, responsible children without time-out, spanking, punishment or bribery"

If there was ever a fantastic book on gentle discipline that actually lays it out and gives you the best tips and tricks on how to handle almost every situation, it is this book. She reminds us that the purpose of discipline is to teach, not hurt. I've met her and she truly practices what she preaches. I am so excited to take one of her parenting classes and go to a few of her seminars this year, she is truly a wonderful role model.
I have at least 20 other great parenting books in my library, but I will stick with those two for now because they are my all time favourites. Runners up would be Alfie Kohn's "Uncondtional Parenting" and Barbara Coloroso's "Kids Are Worth It!"

I could write all night about so many others but in keeping with the spirit of staying connected with our kids, I have to run. I have my sweet little 6 year old boy waiting ever so patiently to read with me. ♥

Tell me, what are your favourite parenting books? Which ones help you keep your sanity?


PS We have a winner from our first LUSH giveway! Stay tuned tomorrow (Thursday) for details on who the lucky person is! Remember too, you still have another chance to win! We are aiming to get our new baby blog to 100 fans on Facebook and we are getting sooooooo close! If you haven't joined us there, please do! It's easy, pop on over to our fan page and click "like"! Be sure to tell your friends too! The more the merrier (and the faster you can be entered win that extra $25 LUSH gift card we have waiting to be sent out). This contest is for our fans only!

With love and light ♥

Wordy Wednesday on a Thursday...

It's been that kind of week, where I am a day behind everything! How is your week going? How was your Hanukkah/Solstice/Christmas/Kwanzzaa this year?

I've been sitting here in front of my laptop since Tuesday feeling all sorts of pressure to come up with something witty and inspiring for our last Wordy Wednesday of the year. It's Wordy Wednesday and I am at a loss for words.

Ironic really, isn't it?

I can't say that this post will necessarily be inspiring or witty but I'll open up and share with you one of my struggles this past fall if you are willing to listen, and I'll also share with you the one special word I am reminding myself of on daily basis. :o)

One of the things I have grappled with the last few months is our homeschooling journey. Since September our life has been a gong show and 'school' has been put on the back burner. It's not to say that learning isn't happening (because as far as I am concerned humans, especially children, are learning and growing all the time) but for this first year we have aligned with a few subjects so we are responsible to have something to show to our school board by next week. Think workbooks and the like.

We made it through Christmas, the first Chrismtas without my brother and my mom and I feel that I have turned a corner in my grieving process, which is good (that corner sooooo needed to be turned but I also was aware enough that I couldn't force it, I just had to go with it...). We are settled into our new house and I finally am getting a grip on my 'new normal' and coming out of that fog that can have one so entrenched after major life changes such as we have been through.

All of a sudden the fogginess lifted this week from my aura and psyche and I 'woke up' to look around at my life and saw that my house is chaos, my kids are chaos, which means that me and my hubby feel like we are in chaos and I especially feel like I am running to catch a fast moving train so I can get all caught up on everthing in my life, as of like, yesterday. I'm an Aries, when I decide things need to be done, I decide they need to be done, as of like...well... yesterday. :Þ

The one thing I need to get a grip on is how I am helping my children learn. I don't want to use the word 'teach' because I don't want to teach them per se, I want to help them grow and learn. I want to be a facilitator in their learning process. As a mother I am naturally a teacher yes and that comes with the job description of parenthood.

However, I realize that I never 'taught' my children to walk. I walk, my husband walks, all the people around them that are bigger and older etc walk, so naturally they learn to walk. No one has to teach them. They just learn. On their own. When they show interest yes we help them, but no one is sitting their child down and introducing official lessons on how to walk. The same goes for talking. We don't teach our children to talk, we help them with sounds and words as that part of them is developing, but the learning is their own process and of their own volition.

It is an inate natural human desire that is rooted deep within us to learn. To grow. To explore. To create. To discover.

This week when I saw the light at the end of the proverbial tunnel and then actually got through that foggy tunnel that grief can envelope you in, I remembered one of my homeschooling mantra's that I told myself as I started this journey:

Trust your children.

And I mean really truly trust them when it comes to what and especially how they learn.

Trust that they want to explore. Trust that they want to grow. Trust that they want to create. Trust that they want to discover.

And just as importantly:

Trust that you can trust yourself to trust your children and help them grow in any direction they want to go in.

The key word is TRUST.

It seems so simple really, but it is so much easier said than done.

There is a secret I have found to helping them do that, but for now I am going to let you all chew on that for a bit. I'll post my little secret to the trusting process this weekend for our Friday Finds, which following the trend for the past few days will be a day or so late, because well it's just been that kind of a week. :D We'll get back to our regular schedule next week. ;o)

Have a wonderful New Year's Eve!

With love and light, ♥

Today's Enlightening and Motivating Friday Find!

I woke up this morning at 5am. It was still and silent in my house (a rarity for sure most days!), and I was convincing myself I need to go back to sleep, but of course I couldn't. So I do what I normally do at these times, I pick up my iPhone and see what is going on in cyberspace, what people are up to on Facebook and if there is any interesting news since I last checked.

I was also trying to narrow down what I was going to post and chit chat about today because all through the week I find all these great links, articles, toys, gadgets and I always am saving or bookmarking something to share with our readers at a later date.

On Facebook my aunt shared a great link and I knew immediately this is what I was meant to share today on Friday Finds. I love my family (hi Aunty Deb!), we all think so much alike, it's wonderful!

I am copying and pasting the entire article from One Powerful Word.com  To just copy and paste fragments wouldn't be doing the entire article any justice. I just found their site this morning and I am in love with it, so please click through after and go browse there!


12 Simple Ways to Get on Top of the World
(You can see why the title grabbed me right? We're all about the simple and the significant here! :Þ)

1. Try Rising Early

 “Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise" – Ben Franklin, famously said this. There are numerous benefits to rising early – Meditation, Exercise, Breakfast, Review your goals, set appointments. Make sure you sleep early and as soon as you close the alarm walk outside the room.


2. Practice Patience

This is a difficult virtue to obtain but with practice you can master it. Accept that you are human. You will grow, learn and change all the time. As humans, we make mistakes. Get over it and get on with life. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, weaknesses and imperfections. Instead of beating yourself up over past mistakes, accept them as part of who you are today.

Life is about progress, not perfection. Confront your fears about not reaching your goals. Remember that the world was not created in one day. Let go of worry. Worrying about tomorrow saps your energy and strength today. Instead, use that energy to work toward your goals. Become your own best friend. You are the only person you will live with your entire life, so get to know yourself well and treat yourself as the valuable person you are. Be patient.


3. Exercise

Make this a daily habit. Exercise not only helps you lose weight, but helps you to think clearly. It makes you feel better and it can be a time to practice concentration by focusing completely on exercising.


 4. Meditate

You might not be into New-Age stuff, but meditation is a very simple method for relaxing and replenishing your energy sources.



5. Acceptance

Accept things the way they are. If you keep thinking that you will be happy when you get to a certain place in life then you will always be looking for a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. Instead, try being happy with where you are, with who you are, and what you have.


6. Visualize

What would your ultimate life be like? Where would you live, what would you do, what would you do with your days? Come up with a clear picture of this, and write it down. Once you know what you want, take massive action. See what is working and omit actions which are not working. Calibrate and keep taking action until you attain your goals.


7. Long Term Goals

Set long term goals and then pick one to accomplish within the next year, and really focus on that. Now, pick one medium-term goal to achieve in the next few months that will get you further toward your longer-term goal. Now decide what you can do this week, and today, to get you to your medium-term goal. Just choose one thing at a time, focus on it, make it happen, and then choose the next thing to focus on.


8. Family Time
Spend as much time as possible with those you love, and truly enjoy those times. Be present as you do it — don’t think about work.


9. Motivate yourself

There will always be times in our lives when we get a little down. Remember how you feel depends on what you focus on. Change what you are focusing on and you can easily make yourself feel better.



10. Focus on pleasure, not pain
If you find yourself struggling to do something, stop thinking about how painful it might be to actually do the task but focus on the long-term pleasure (Benefits, Opportunities) you will gain by finishing the task. By changing the way you see things, you can change how you feel about them and make it easier to get things done.



11. One-Task-One-Time

Avoid Multi-tasking. Day to Day, moment to moment focus on one task at a time. This leads to greater productivity and less stress. You can have multiple goals but when you are doing something make sure you give it your 100% attention.



12. Help others

Volunteer some of your time. All of us can find a couple of hours in a week or a month. You will build connections with humble and good people who might influence and bring more positivity in your life. 



Again you can simply click to find these 12 steps here at One Powerful Word. Aren't they wonderful? :o) I don't know about you, but this is exactly what I needed today!


We'll, I've accomplished the getting up early part so far! Even if it is begrudgingly it still counts right? I think these 12 steps are worthy of printing out and putting on the fridge. They are great little reminders!

Have a fabulous weekend everyone!

With love and light, 


 

Unstoppable Kids

The kids and I have been reading Wayne Dyer's Unstoppable Me! and we love it.

Photo Credit

As a parent, I find it refreshing to read about something other than animals (horses in particular for our household). For now, I'd rather read with them about how unstoppable they are. The book highlights "10 Ways to Soar Through Life" which include "Welcome the Unknown", "Enjoy the Here-and-Now", and "Healthy Me" based on 10 different scenarios.

This book is bright, the illustrations are fantastic, and the message is terrific for any child at any age. I recommend a trip to the local library to pick up a copy of this great book.

What book have you placed on your child's 'must read' list?

Book Review: Living Oprah

I just finished reading Living Oprah: My One-Year Experiment to Walk the Walk of the Queen of Talk by Robyn Okrant. The author chose to follow Oprah’s suggestions for living her ‘best life’. She read the magazine, watched the show, and subscribed online. If Oprah said you must have this and must do that, Robyn bought it and did it. She made some great points that I would never have noticed (but then again, I watch Oprah about once a month). She brought up good points like how Oprah talked up the environment and then gave away an SUV, or how Oprah wanted everyone to sign the Best Life contract, but wouldn’t sign it herself, and then proceeded to promote ice cream on a show not long after.



I thought the book was interesting – it’s not what I would normally choose, but I was somewhat stressed and looking for an easy read. By the end of the book I began to wonder if it was worth it for the author to ‘live Oprah’ for an entire year. I was rather glad to be getting to the end of the book, but then I read the second to last page and come across this on page 256:

“I know I will never truly believe I am beautiful if I allow someone else’s definition of beauty to impact my self-esteem. I know I will never have a truthful, honest relationship with Jim if I judge my own marriage against others’ unions. The same goes for my friendships and my connection with my family. It is futile and exhausting for me to shape my life to meet anyone else’s standards.”

WHAM! She hit the nail on the head! If only I could bottle that paragraph. I would save it and sprinkle on my daughter as she sleeps, in hopes of giving her a hand up when she matures into a young woman. (I would give myself a healthy dose of it from time to time as well!) No will believe they are beautiful if they allow someone else to tell them what beauty looks like. Same goes for relationships of all sorts. I think the author wrote what every mother tries to get through to her maturing daughter – be yourself, believe in yourself, and for the love of God, don’t conform for the sake of fitting in!

Have you read this book? What did you think of it?