I have to confess, I'm having a week. You know, one of *those* weeks. Apparently, I'm told, we all have them. I'm tired. I'm cranky. My nerves are raw and some moments I have found myself up in my bathroom crying quietly to myself, where no one can see or hear me. It's a nice release sometimes to be able to do that I find.
I feel like there are all these expectations piled on me that I just can't meet, like what I am doing (or not doing) and who I am just isn't good enough.
So who is this 'Perfect Mother' I hear about all the time? Does she really exist? You know who she is right? Perfect Mother is usually found online, although sometimes, very rarely, you'll catch a glimpse of her in real life.
She is the one with the perfect children who never fight and if they do all problems are solved perfectly by absolute gentle discipline standards all the time. Perfect Mother never yells or raises her voice and her children always listen to her - not because they have to, but because they live in such a perfect democratically respectful household that they want to. She's doesn't need any form of western medicine because herbs and homeopathics cure all her family's problems, all the time without fail. Always.
Who is this woman out there who has a perfectly clean and organized house and happy perfect neuro-typical kids and homeschools so well her perfect children are 2 grades ahead and gifted beyond Einstein? This in addition to homebirthing and breastfeeding until the politically correct age of 2.5 years, babywears, follows elimination communication because she is totally beyond cloth diapers, has the perfect marriage, perfect house, perfect fridge and pantry nicely stocked with only organic foods from which she is able to make perfect nutritious meals and snacks from scratch all the time? Oh and this perfect mama also finds time for a run everyday, is in fabulous shape and is oh so happy all time. Perfect Mother is the perfect human. The perfect wife and well, perfect everything.
Just a heads up 'Perfect Mother' doesn't live here. Neither do 'Perfect Children'.
Now you'll have to excuse me while I sign off so I can feed my kids a smoothie, a sandwich or a bowl of cereal for supper, because like I said, it's been one of those weeks.
(trying to be) Better and better,
Oh, I know where she lives! She is my daughter. She isn't like you described though. She is just doing the best she can and she is managing to raise a couple of fairly normal (?) kids with respect for themselves and others. She also rings me up to vent...then goes away and tries again.
ReplyDeleteI don't think I would like to be a child of the 'perfect mother' as you describe...what would happen if I wasn't perfect too? Scary!
However, could you adopt me?
cereal for supper: one of my go-to favorites! (should I be ashamed to admit that? naaah!) lol
ReplyDeleteHazel, your daughter is lucky to have you! :D
ReplyDeleteThat is the thing, we are all trying to do our best!
My post was a bit of a rant against
A) the women I find online, message boards in particular, that portray themselves and their children as absolutely perfect and then make the rest of us feel crappy and
B) those who don't have children, but for some reason know everything there is to know about them and how to raise them and
C) and anyone else who happened to critique me in the last little while about my house, my kids and my parenting style/philosophy. ;o)
There must have been something in the air last week because The Feminist Breeder had a great post too regarding pretty much the same issue. No matter what we do as parents, someone is going to think we are doing it wrong or we could do it better. Her post was great! http://thefeministbreeder.com/parenting-ur-doin-it-rong/
And Laurie, cereal is one of my go to quick suppers too every once in a while! As long as it is nutritious and filling for the kids I'm good to go! :D
~Laila ♥